January 20, 2005
Kerry Dougherty
The Virginian-Pilot
Lemme see if I understand this.
Before I was able to buy a ticket to take my teenage daughter to “The Passion of the Christ” last year the local multiplex made me sign a parental permission slip.
Yet, if that same underage girl wants contraception, the state says it’s none of my darn business.
After all, I’m only the mother.
She can’t get her ears pierced at the mall unless I OK it. Yet, if she’s contemplating suicide and gets counseling, no one needs to tell me about it.
You see, I’m just the mother.
She can’t get a tattoo without a thumbs-up from moi. But if she comes down with a sexually transmitted disease, she can seek treatment and I’ll never know.
I’m just the mother. A moralizing meddler in the eyes of Virginia law. And thanks to a wrongheaded General Assembly committee, this situation won’t be fixed any time soon.
So let’s backtrack a minute and see exactly where we are.
First the R-rated movie conundrum.
After seeing Mel Gibson’s controversial movie last year, I decided to take my teenage kids. When I did, the box office boss slid permission papers to me through a slot in the window.
I thanked him and said that I hoped he’d be equally vigilant when the next “Kill Bill” movie was released.
I don’t know if he was. My kids didn’t see that one.
Still, parental permission is sought in lots of places.
The Piercing Pagoda at Military Circle, for instance. When I phoned them Wednesday morning, I was assured that they wouldn’t come anywhere near my daughter’s under aged lobes unless she was accompanied by a parent.
“You have to be 18,” a Pagoda person said. “And we ask to see ID.”
“Good, good for you,” I enthused.
Same story over at IAmTattoos.com in Hampton. No parent, no permanent body art.
But, under Virginia law, if a kid wants birth control, treatment for sexually transmitted diseases or counseling for suicide, parents are deliberately kept out of the loop.
It’s as if Virginia lawmakers assume we parents don’t know what’s best for our offspring. Or, heaven forfend, we might try to talk them out of destructive behavior.
Del. L. Scott Lingamfelter of Prince William County wanted to fix this. He submitted HB 1662, a bill that would have changed existing law to require that an attempt be made to notify – notify, not seek permission from – parents after their minor child was treated at a public clinic for “services related to sexually transmitted diseases … pregnancy, illegal drugs use, and the contemplation of suicide.”
Why it only applied to state and local clinics is a mystery. Parental rights ought to be protected everywhere.
Naturally the bill was targeted by those who believe that the state is better at rearing children than parents. They were successful in getting the measure tabled. This time.
Del. Bob McDonnell, who supported it, said the arguments against the proposal were much like the ones trotted out when the legislature passed the parental notification measure requiring that parents be notified when their minor daughters are having abortions.
Concerns about children in abusive situations are understandable, he said, and were adequately addressed in the bill.
Deliberately excluding parents from vital information about their minor children is quite simply “terrible public policy,” McDonnell said.
“Society needs to presume that parents have the best interests of their children at heart,” he added.
Dare to dream, Delegate.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for an oasis of parental rights, head over to the local tattoo parlor. Not the General Assembly.
